Hello World

Hello out there.

As my profile says, I am going through an interesting time in my life. In the last year I have moved, gotten a new job, my spouse and I are currently buying and selling houses, moving again, and oh yeah, having serious questions about our marriage. Nothing big, you know, just the stuff of life.

I have been married since infancy, well right after college actually, and now have lovely kids. I had a substantial period of time being married without children. My kids are now in elementary school. My marriage has always been characterized my a fairly high level of strife, although we recently seem to have gotten past that. My spouse "Pat" and I are getting along well now, very well really, but have entered a very strange period where we are both questioning the point and nature of marriage in general and ours in particular. I would like to explore those questions for myself as well as with whoever happens to read this.

While I love Pat and Pat loves me, the simple fact is that our relationship is "only" that of close friendship. co-parenting, being roommates, partnering in the areas of finance and running the household. Gone are the feelings of passion and romance. Our intimacy can best be described as that between two good old friends, not that that is bad, but no more. I understand that the butterflies, passion, romance and excitement diminish markedly with time, fine, but when you start counting your last sexual or romantic moment in weeks or months, or when going to bed at 9 seems so much more interesting than staying up talking, it seems downright tragic. Doesn't it? So here is my question to the blogosphere: Is this it? Is this the most I should expect out of marriage after some time, or can there be more?

And here's an even better question: if this is it, is it enough for me? I want more, but do I need more? I don't know.

There is a back-story behind this, but that is for the next blog.