Joni

At the beginning of my marital crisis, I began surfing and posting to a web site dedicated to the many and varied interests of over-40 people. It is a great web-site. People there talk about religion, writing, politics and of course marriage and relationships. I had posted there the details of my situation both before and after I became aware of my wife's affairs. I received a lot of useful advice and support. A couple people in particular were very helpful. One of them is Joni Peschman. Joni is a "personal coach", she offers her services both remotely and locally (Tempe, AZ).

Joni met with me weekly for the last couple months helping me first discover then strive toward my goals. She asked incisive and thought-provoking questions which clarified my feelings, hopes, desires, values, motivations, pointing out the logical and practical implications of those things. She gave me concrete suggestions on how to implement my stated goals. She validated my desires, concerns, hopes where they were reasonable and self-consistent and pointed out where they were not. She validated me as a person. She encouraged me to make decisions and live by them, to take action to achieve my goals. When those goals changed, she adjusted her suggestions to the new goals. In short she helped me become more the person I said I wanted to be.

There are people you come across who help you at the right time, in the right way. Joni was such a person for me. There have been other such people in my life and there will be more in the future, but right now, today, Joni was it.

I want to take this forum, however limited in readership it is, to publicly thank her for her help. I may have been able to make a decision and act on it without her, but it would have at least taken a lot longer, and I question how successful I would have been at actually making a decision.

I won't know for a while if the decision I made was correct, optimal, but it was my decision and right now, it feels really right. Joni did not make any decisions for me, nor even influence the direction(s) I took, but she did help me take stock of myself and my situation and move forward with my decisions.

So Joni, from the bottom of my heart, thank you.