Divorce sucks

Ok,

So now lawyers are officially involved. I have mine, she has hers. We are still trying to do it "collaboratively" where my wife and I negotiate the terms and I dictate them to my lawyer. My lawyer will write up a decree, have it reviewed by her lawyer, and hopefully, since we agreed to everything beforehand, just sign it.

That's the plan.

What could possibly go wrong? (LOL)

The problem is that we both have this sense of being wronged: she rather extensively lied to me and betrayed my trust, even tangentially involved my kids in her cheating, making my oldest see things no 10 year-old should ever have to see. I am screwing her out of about $65K, which she would be entitled to in a 50/50 split.

The things is that she would lose, badly, if it went to court, and with it the rather generous visitation arrangement I am offering her. She would also probably owe me child support. I think she knows this. Additionally, neither of us really want this to turn into the horror freak-show that it would be. The balance of terror keeps the situation tensely stable.

These feelings lie very near the surface and this process of legalizing everything brings them out.

The level of conflict is unsustainably painful. We have another month to go, it feels like a year. I will be so happy when we are done, assuming it doesn't turn into WWIII between now and then.

Here's the funny part: this is an easy divorce. I can't fathom a hard one.

So here's tidbit of wisdom for anyone contemplating or starting a divorce: it hurts, it sucks. It starts out easy and gets very ugly very quickly.

God help us all.