Birthday

So today is my birthday. I'm 44 today.

Damn I'm getting old. Of course as a friend of mine said many years ago now "It beats the alternative".

I was born 5 weeks after JFK was assasinated. My mother tells me I was named for one of JFK's bodyguards who acted bravely or was hurt in the incident, although I can't find any reference to anyone sharing any part of my name.

I am just a bit too young to be a real baby boomer and just a bit too old to be a gen-X'er.

I'm old enough to have seen the rise of the computer industry, but too young to have lived through it's heroic era where people fixed computers with soldering guns and oscilloscopes and actually read "core dumps".

I saw the battle of the CPUs be won by Intel and the battle of the OS' be won by MicroSoft, resulting in the domination of the Wintel duopoly. I saw the emergence and death or near-death of many great technology companies: Compaq, DEC, Cray, SGI, Atari, TRS. I saw icon of American innovation dwindle to a mere shadow of their former selves: IBM, HP, AT&T, Xerox. I saw Apple rise, fall and rise again.

I saw the invention of the "internets", and used it when it was ArpaNet, run by the DoD.

I was an adult when communism collapsed of its own weight and still have a "Dukakis-Bentsen" yard sign, as well as an "Al Gore '88" Button.

I remember the central American proxy wars of the 80's and Ortega, Colonel North, Iran-Contra. I remember Noriega and the murdurous regimes in Guatemala and Argentina.

I saw the emergence of the War on Drugs and the "Just Say No" campaign and the ensuing imprisonement of millions of Americans on charges that would have been ignored a decade earlier.

I remember when catalytic converters were made mandatory on cars and leaded gas was phased out. The US automotive industry warned of it's imminent demise as a result.

I remember the first great alternative energy movement, the energy crisis of the 70's and President Carter turning down the White House thermostats and wearing a sweater.

I saw the invention of crock pots, crazy glue, and the begining of the fitness movement (adults didn't always run).

I remember SCTV and the glorious era of Saturday Night Live (75-80) when they were really funny. I remember when Letterman used to throw flaming gasoline-filled watermelons off the top of buildings.

I remember the Challenger disaster, the Rodney King incident, "if the glove don't fit, you must acquit", the second LA riots ('88?). The first Iraq war.

I remember when the pronunciation "harassment" changed litteraly overnight to the British one with emphasis on the 1st syllable. (Supreme court Judge Thomas' nomination hearings in which he was accused of asking is that was a pubic hair on Anita Hill's Coke can. I was changing a water heater that day).

I am old enough that I can see several distinct phases of my life: Childhood, college, grad school, NY and now TX. I can see how I've changed during each of those phases, how I really became someone different.

I am old enough to be able to look at myself and see who I really am. Sometimes I like it, other times not. I know who I am (mostly), but still don't always know what I want (apparently).

I am old enough to be confident in what I know and can do, but young enough to still be insecure and frightened about what I can't do.

I am old enough to be happy with and thankful for what I have, but young enough to want more.
May I always be so.