Our first bondage kit

I am writing of this only because it is too funny to go unmentioned, poor taste notwithstanding.

My girlfriend and I were shopping for a "surprise" present for my upcoming birthday at a Spencer's store in the mall. Spencer's is a store with a lot of weird gifts. Some are creepy, some are funny, some are sciency, it's hard to explain. We were looking around the store, soaking it all in when mis-heard something, clearly not what my girlfriend had actually said. What I *heard* was "our first bondage kit". I laughed, turned and looked to where she was pointing: a box with "Our First Bondage Kit" printed on the side in big, bold letters. I swear I'm not making this up, I can't, it wouldn't be funny, too over-the-top, you wouldn't believe me. It had handcuffs, a leather strap, a feather, possibly other stuff.

I guess it's kind of like "My First Pony", the pink plastic pony with big blue eyes and a blond mane they used to advertise on TV to 7 year-old girls. But different. Very different.

Much like 'My First Pony' boxes, 'Our First Bondage Kit' Boxes have helpful illustrations of what one my want to do with the contents. Thoughtful of them, really.

I'm now imagining a movie clip , or, hey! perhaps an ad for 'Our First Bondage Kits': an old couple, in their eighties, walking on the beach, holding hands, maybe one is terminally ill, just a few months left to live. They are wistfully looking back on their life together, their kids, their youth. One turns to the other and says: "Dearest, do you remember Our First Bondage Kit (tm)?". Their eyes well with happy tears at the sweet, gentle memories of leather restraints, gags and handcuffs, whips and chains, screams of anguish and delight. The sun sets to swelling melancolic music as their intertwined fingers tighten and a tear rolls down a cheek.

We got a huge stuffed Homer Simpson doll.